As a stylist, the only thing that breaks my heart into a million pieces, is when someone sits in my chair and is only allowed to do what their significant other decides for them. As someone who cares too little of what other people think of her, I have never understood this kind of mentality. I have never understood giving someone the power to control my physical appearance.
There are so many things about life that you often cannot control, but your hair has to be one of the things you do control. There is something so deeply empowering about realizing that you own yourself, and showing it with the way you carry yourself and stylize yourself through your physical appearance.
I once had a client who came in to have her hair bleach-and-toned. When I asked her why she decided to go so much lighter, she responded with “my fiance wants me to be blonde for our wedding and I just want him to look at me and think I’m beautiful.” I had to stop myself from going on a rant. All I said was “he had better look at you that way even if you show up to your wedding in pajamas!” and we laughed. But it got me thinking. She should have been bleaching her hair because SHE wanted to go lighter. Not because she was afraid someone would find her less attractive on her WEDDING DAY if she wasn’t a perfect blonde. She should wear her hair the way she loves to wear it. And if she loves it blonde, then by all means! But if she doesn’t, well…she should reevaluate why she’s damaging her hair. Is she damaging it because she wants to be blonde, or because she wants someone else to like her more because she’s blonde? These things matter greatly to a person’s psyche.
I have always believed that in order for other people to truly love you, you first have to love yourself. And sometimes that shows through your hairstyle, your makeup, and your clothes. But before you love all of those things, you have GOT to love yourself. Everything else will follow.
So love yourself. Do what you want with your hair. Make yourself happy first, and the rest will follow. Love yourself. LOVE. YOUR. SELF.
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